~Stories, life, and magic.~

Once upon a time... It has been my own personal experience that those four words, are undoubtedly the most enchanting predecessors to many a wonderful story, and are in that respect the best way to start any good story. It has also been my own understanding that how a story starts and where it is that it begins are two completely separate things. My own story begins with the little girl who, from a very early age, was always entranced by those four little words (or the variations that thereof) and the stories that followed after them. This same little girl would stay up in the dead of night with the volume of her TV on as low as she could still hear so that she could watch movies and television shows that caught her attentions. This little girl would duck away –a feat which her tiny stature allowed her to accomplish rather easily- in hidden corners of her house reading for hours on end. This very girl would turn to her own mind when stories were scarce, and imagine up any sort of fantastical adventure she could. All of this was done with a rather childish belief in magic and an undying love of stories of all forms; this was my childhood.

            Stories came naturally to me, both in their understanding and in their construction, and so it was only a matter of time before I discovered both a fondness and a certain talent for the written word. I started when I was younger with simplistic rhyme-based poetry and a handful of short stories which I wrote all throughout elementary school. These simple pieces were easy for me, and they always seemed to make me happy. With the completion of every poem or short story I would feel a sense of pride for the thing that I, myself, had created. I was a writer, I always would be, and -in this sense- I always have been. I still write today, and part of me knows that I always will write. Now, I write everything from novels to poetry to screenplays. Though writing is no longer the main focus in my life, I do still feel that sense of pride in the things I’ve created every time I write.

Regardless, stories have always, and most likely will always play a very important role in my life.  I would be lying to both myself and to whomever were to read this paper if I said that stories -those I collect as well as those I create- did not have a profound effect on me and my life. Through many of my own writings, I have shaped the way I see many aspects of life. It was through stories of Egypt and Mummies (more specifically The Mummy movies) that I slowly made may way to discovering a love for Anthropology, which I am now studying. It was through novels and fairytales that I developed many of the ideals that I still hold dear today. Though I could give countless examples of these such instances as well as other I have not mentioned, perhaps the one story that has had the most profound effect on myself –or at least to which I share the deepest connection- is the movie Anastasia produced by 20^th century fox.

The story of Anastasia to which I am referring, is that of an orphaned girl, with no recollection of her past or sense home, who finds herself on a difficult journey to finding out who she really is. As a child I always loved this movie, but I hadn’t started analyzing it and realizing just how much it really did seem to correspond in its own way to my life until I was much older. Though I am not an orphan –nor a lost Russian duchess- I still think of that movie as almost a symbolic representation of my life and of my goals in life; a rather silly notion when one looks at it I will admit, but a notion that I resonate with nonetheless. My analysis of the movie itself, and my epiphany as to how much I truly related to it, actually began accidentally as my best friend of seven years commented on how I reminded her a lot of Anastasia in both personality and mannerisms, something I too had been thinking after watching the movie for the first time in at least a year. I pushed the matter aside at the time, but slowly I started to truly think about the similarities. While we (Anastasia and myself) are both stubborn sarcastic and bold individuals, who do seem to know exactly who we are and would not hide that from those around us, we’re both still lost.

It wasn’t too long ago that I really started to search for who I really was, and as a first step to define who that person is. Even though I feel as if I have discovered a lot about myself over the course of this past year, I still know that all at the same time I’ve just begun a much longer journey. Though I have a better understanding of myself, I don’t believe that I fully know how it is that I’m going to or even supposed to fit in to the world around me. The same, I discovered in my analysis, was the case for Anya as she underwent her journey; she knew who she was, but not how that fully related to the world around her. It’s in this sense of knowing myself without knowing where I belong that I share maybe the most important similarity with the animated princess. It is my dearest wish, as it was Anastasia’s, to find a ‘home’, as it is something I’ve never truly had. I’m searching for a place where I could belong, and a small community I can belong to. Yet, I know that before I can really belong anywhere I still have to figure a lot of things out about myself, only then will I be able to try to find out where I’m meant to be.

What though makes Anastasia so important to my life and growth as a person? That lies within the fact that I learned the above lessons from that movie. From her experience –regardless of how fictional or animated it may have been- I learned the best way to handle my own personal confusion and disorientation about my life. She too had to truly find herself, before she was able to find her place in the world around her. Even from the very beginning she knew what she wanted to get out of her life, and then once she decided on the journey her life would take she stuck with it, even if it seemed ridiculous to her at times. From that movie, I’ve also adopted this mentality for my own life’s journey. I have decided to follow what feels right even if it seems like only a silly far-off-dream and then stick with the path I’ve chosen, until I’ve gotten what I wanted out of it. Whenever I initially think about how I’ve summed up most of my life and my aspirations and then compare them to a child’s animated movie, I feel more than a little silly. But then, when I really think about how much I’ve gained from and owe to this particular children’s story, I can’t help but smile fondly at the thought. This, though, is all done rightly so, once I think more on the subject, because it is in fact a good story.

There is something truly amazing about a good story. It has an inexplicable power over us; the power to move us, to challenge us, even to change us. In this sense, it’s almost magical. Stories have always affected me. As a child, I adored them –and still do. I welcomed them with an open heart and an open mind, and inquired after them with enough curiosity to kill a dozen cats. I was drawn to them, and because of that I chased after them as well. I couldn’t help myself. I dreamed about them; about the adventure and the magic that they all seemed to hold within them. In the end, it seems only right that I affect and am affected by stories; as it seems right that this will always be the case. For the only way to truly be able to manipulate that magic of the written word, is to be open to it, and to let it manipulate you as well.

~The Bucket List. Items 72-76.~

Alright, well here I am again! And just like I had said last time, this entry will contain a continuation of my bucket list! Let's get started then shall we?

72. Go through a secret passage. This item got added to my list, because one day when I was getting on my computer to check my email MSN.com had a lovely article up about homes with secret passageways! Ever the curious little explorer I could only click on the link to the slideshow. There were so many secret passage ways! Everything from a secret wing in a Victorian home, to a secret office, to a passage through a book case, to the Shakespeare-bust passage of Batman! It was so grand, that I decided that I must one day go through a secret passage, or into a secret room!

73. Compile a book of my poetry. This one is simple enough really. As you could probably guess, I write poetry. Well, I write everything really... One day I became inspired to write a poem, which may be my favorite yet, and then decided that I liked my poetic side. And that one day I would like to put all my poetry into one book!

74. Visit a real psychic. This one has always been sort a small desire of mine, but it all really came about when the psychic who lived near my house closed down shop and left. Now, I'm not saying she was a real psychic. Hell, I'm not even saying I would know how to find a real psychic to visit. But maybe one day I will. I think it'd just be interesting to see what they had to say.

75. Put on a puppet show. This one came about when I was house sitting with my best friend. It tends to happen, that when we get together, we get a little crazy. Now, I don't mean 'partying' crazy, I mean 'extra-nerdy' crazy. Hence, puppet show. Not sure what kind though yet; finger, sock, shadow...so many to chose from!

76. Send of a message in a bottle. This one two has always been a small desire of mine. It had been forgotten though, until I saw this pretty picture of a ship in a bottle on the beach. Then, that kind of re-ignited that small thought. I sort of just like thinking about it. I mean, who knows where it would go, who would find it.... It definitely appeals to the curious explorer in me. :P

And there you have it! My updated bucket list!

Now, I can't make any guarantees, but... I just recently moved into my dorm, and am starting college! Which, as you may all either know or speculate is a very big -maybe life changing- transition! Who knows, maybe I'll pick up a valuable pointer or two on life that I'll feel inclined to share from all of this.

This is the AceOfSpades, signing off for tonight!

~Oh Lighthouse! My first completion!~

Hello again! So it's been some time since my last update, but as it was extremely lengthy I don't believe that the wait is completely unfair! Anyway, I have decided to start off the marvelous month of August with a new post! And, as promised last time, this post is dedicated to my actual bucket list; both a few new additions and ((drum roll please!)) my FIRST completion! That's right! One item down and...well, several more to go. ( ^-^U )

So let's begin shall we?

First up, let us revisit item #50 on my list, in which I said that I would like to visit a lighthouse.
Well my dearest readers, it is a most imponderable pleasure that I inform you that over the summer I have visited not one, but TWO lighthouses! ((Huzzah!)) The first of which was on the small Island of Kauai in Hawaii, in a national reserve. I was so excited to be visiting my first light house ever, and so naturally the whole day we were driving around, it was always on my mind. Then, when I got to the point of the preserve, and the lighthouse came into view, I noticed something. The lighthouse was closed! Of all things, they picked perhaps the one and only time I would be in Hawaii to close it for renovation! ( D:) I was devastated. My excitement was shot, and all I could think about was how my grandparents told me that they got to go inside of it the last time they were there, and that all of the beauty of the towering structure before me was dashed away by the ugliness of construction. To be honest I felt cheated! I couldn't bring myself to call what I had witnessed a 'completion' on my list, so I did my best to forget about the lighthouse. But then, and without any planning on my part, something superb happened! While in La Jolla, California ((in which I attended the lovely vow renewal of my Aunt and Uncle)) my entire family took a trip to some Monument/Nature Preserve whose name escapes me; a trip I might add, that I almost did not go on! Jumping ahead. This, dear readers, is where I visited Lighthouse number two! And though it was not the towering beauty of the lighthouse at Kilauea Point ((at least I'm almost certain that that was where it was...))  it was nonetheless, a lighthouse, and one that was both not under construction and that I got to go INSIDE of! ( :D )It was a beautifully enthralling experience, as I find that I have always loved and been fascinated by lighthouses! The only complaint I had, was that I could not visit the tower itself! ((For those of you who don't know, the tower of a lighthouse is the top, where the light actually is.)) However, I did get some splendid pictures through the closed grate that I got as close to as possible!

And what a wonderful segue that provides for my next list additions!
71. Go up to the Tower of a Lighthouse. 
As I explained above, I did not get to go up to the tower in California, and though I am completely satisfied with my visit I am not content to leave this be until I get to the top! ((Both figuratively and literally. :P ))

Unfortunately, though I do have more additions to share with you all, I'm afraid this post has gotten long already! But don't worry! Next time, I'll finish up my newest list additions, including the marvelous little events that inspired them!

~On the move! Life is a journey!~

So I do recognize, that yet again it seems that i have neglected my blog oh lovely followers! ( :( )
I assure you however, that this is only partly the case! ((Not much better right?)) It's not that I've stopped blogging, it's simply that I've been out and about for the past month or so. Between my special graduation trip to Hawaii, to house sitting ((with very limited internet I might add!)), to concerting,  to my upcoming trip to California ((by upcoming I mean that I am leaving at about 3a.m. tomorrow morning (-_-U))) I simply haven't gotten that much time to sit and reflect and write my blog as I have become so fond of doing!

But, I am here for now, and that's really all that matters right?! Regardless of your answer to that semi-question it's time to move on to the real point of this post! ((So I'm not just going to sit around trying to excuse my absence?! Shocking!))

All of my traveling and adventuring lately has lead me to realize something very, very important about my life, and yours too for that matter! Life is a journey, and it's time everyone stopped fighting that! Yeah, you see that one message thrown around all the time in movies. So? Movies -in my own personal opinion- one of the last real connections to true magic we have left. ((Mini rant now officially over.))

Look around you every once in a while, and all you'll see is people speeding past you, heads downturned, oblivious to what's going on at that one moment in time. These are destination-people. People who can't wait to get to the 'end goal'. Don't get me wrong, that drive and motivation is definitely a good thing -this is coming from a girl who'll just be starting a 10 year journey to her Doctorate degree- but letting that 'end goal' consume you to the point where you can no longer see everything that's happening around you is not a good thing!

There really is so much that you are missing if you ignore the journey of it all. I'm not going to say that every moment is wonderful and beautiful along the way, because let’s face it, that's nonsense. Sometimes the journey is difficult; sometimes the path at hand is dark and treacherous; sometimes it’s easier to shut your eyes to journey itself and just look to the destination. Yet, even when the journey gets like this, I firmly believe that you need to keep your eyes open to it, because that's how you learn and -more importantly- live. As far as beauty goes, it's all around you, it's entwined within the fabric of life itself, but it's not always going to come to you. You have to seek it out. When it comes down to it, it's your job to find the beauty in things. Neither of these two things are easy, and I'll be the first to admit it. I've gotten used to being able to keep my eyes opened to the darker parts of Life's path, it's something I'm pretty good at. But, this skill has come at a cost. Because of it, I find that sometimes it’s that much more difficult to find the beauty along the way; this I'm working on.

I am a journey-person, or at least I'm trying to be one. This is something all my recent, albeit blog-distracting, travels have made me realize. I want to be able to really, truly look at my life with eyes wide-open, and take advantage of every moment. Hawaii was more than just an expensive graduation trip my wonderful grandparents took me on. It was an adventure, and even more a time of healing. Not physical healing, because that would definitely put a damper on the whole 'Adventure!' thing, but a time of more...emotional healing. ((-you: TheAceOfSpades has a need for emotional healing?! O.o -me: I know right?!)) I will not describe what caused this need for my 'emotional healing' process, but I will say that it's something that I was not used to experiencing that had a deep (and surprising) effect on me. That being said it could all have been avoided if I closed my eyes to the Journey. In a similar manner, the whole thing -even after it happened- could have been overlooked and forgotten in the same way. I on the other hand, chose the much more difficult route. I looked at everything that happened, and I let myself learn from it. It hurt a lot, even the 'healing' aspect of it, but looking back on it, I know that it was worth it. It gave me a new insight into myself, and even into my own heart -a place that I find I know very little about.

So yeah, my point is that sometimes the path just plain sucks, and you -like so many others- can turn your head down, counting your footsteps, quickening your pace, just waiting until you reach the end. Or, you can go into-tunnel vision mode. You convince yourself that nothing around you matters but what is ahead. Sure, this can be beneficial, and sometimes what's around us is just too much to deal with, and this is the only way we really can deal with this part of the Path. Sometimes, no matter how strong you are this is all you can do to keep yourself going, and I understand that. It's not strength that is the limiting factor, but bravery. It takes true courage to lift up your head, to widen your vision, and try to take in all that is around you. If you do this, hopefully you will see that you’re not alone. Whether it be a lover, a family member, a true friend, or that person that seems almost like they were the missing part of your soul; they will provide the strength when you feel weak, they will help you find the beauty around you, they will help you seek out your true path, and they will keep you going when all you can see are shadows.

I will leave you with this: Life is a Journey. Those who can accept that will be able to truly live. Those who can only see the destination cannot, for in every life the last destination will always be death.

~Summer: Rebirth!~

My last, my final year of high school has officially ended. I finished all of my horrific IB exams, said my goodbyes, and graduated. Looking back on it, these past few weeks have felt like they lasted a lot longer than they actually have. And through all this, for it really was an ending, I did not cry once. It feels sort of odd, really. Of course, I don't cry naturally, but still, it seems like an odd thing to not have shed a tear. Though, the more I think about it, the more that strange feeling dies away. I will see my friends again, even if only over summer. We all parted with pretty words, but none of us intend for those to be the last words we will say to each other. That's what it all boils down to. I've come this far, and I'm not ready to put an end to my knowing them just yet. That may seem silly and naive, so let me clarify: I do not expect for all of us to see each other as often as we had, but I do believe that when we do see each other again we will be able to fall right back to where we left off. For this reason, I am not really sad.

What's more, I have done a lot of thinking lately ((a common theme for this blog; I have noticed)). As a result of this, I feel as if a large weight has been lifted from my shoulders. That is the glory of a good epiphany every now and again. It leaves you feeling refreshed, light as a feather, and as if you are ready to take on the world all at once. My epiphany was this: Life is mine, and it is my job for the time being to just keep living it. ((Remember that phrase?)) I discovered a while back who I want to be and as for this summer, it is time to start fully applying this 'new me' to my everyday life. As far as I'm concerned, I owe this to myself, and I don't have to worry about anything else. And that alone, removes a lot of stress and a lot of confusion I had been going through lately. A lot of which, I had been neglecting as of late, because of my dealing with the end of school. 

With this, and taking everything into account, I believe I can finally answer the question I posed to you a couple posts back: "Where am I?" I am standing ((metaphorically of course)) at the edge of a new beginning. Things haven't truly stopped, nor have they began anew, yet. Life is slowing down, and entering into a small transition phase. Like the Phoenix, I will not flat reach a flat out ending but a bridge into a new beginning. And for the first time in a long time, I am truly excited just to live my life, and see where it takes me. This is what my summer will be dedicated to.

Now it's your turn. I asked you where you were, and I hope you really took the time to think about that. But for now, no matter where you decided you were, you have reached and opportunity to set something in motion; something maybe you've been thinking over for a long time, or maybe something you've been neglecting recently. This is your chance! What will you dedicate your summer to?

Signing off,
The Ace of Spades

~Story time! New Additions.~

Hola! Como esta? (Pleas do not actually answer...I probably won't know what you've said!) Haha. Now, continuing on! It has been some time since I have updated the bucket list part of The Bucket List. So, as promised (or at least hinted at) last time, I shall do that now! (Aren't you excited? I know I am!) However, this time I'm going to try something new! I know that a lot of the things on my bucket list may seem sort of random, but they aren't really, I assure you! The point being, everything on my list has a story behind it. Every entry has a special meaning, and an event that put it there. But then again, I believe that everything has a story behind it, and that life might be a lot more wonderful if we took the time to really search for that story... But alas! That may just be a blog for another day! Any-who, on to the list!

66. Learn to use medievel weaponry- This one is simple enough really. Over spring break (Such a long time ago! T-T) I was talking to a really close friend of mine, a friend who I have known since the third grade. And, as we hadn't really sat around and just talked in a long time...we sort of just started talking. About everything! One of those things ended up being her favorite teacher, who apparently has some degree/certificate that basically says that he is CERTIFIED to use medievel weaponry! Awesome right?!

67. Get my Doctorate Degree- This one is really a promise to myself (as some of the others on my list really are) than anything. I decided from the beginning that this list would be a culmination of things. 1. Super awesome things that you live a lifetime for. 2. Silly little things that I've always secretly wanted to do. 3. Promises to myself; things that I want for myself to accomplish. After breaking it down this way, that really began to put this whole project into perspective. So one day I started thinking about the 3rd category and suddenly realization hit me! And so, this one was added!

68. Ride in a Taxi- Have you ever read the play Pygmalion? Because I had to. And apparently taxis are a pretty big deal. After reading the fuss everyone in that play made over riding in a taxi (and going home to watch 'CashCab') I decided that I wanted to ride in one too! Think about it, and I guarantee that if you haven't ridden in one yet you will add it to your own bucket list! My theory: the 'want' to ride in a taxi must be contagious; just like laughter, and the swine flu!

69. Learn how to hot-wire a car- Now this one started as my friend and I strolled past one of the schools little golf-cart-things. We then got into this conversation about how we both wanted to take one for a joy ride! (Not that we ever would of course!) So we both casually glanced over an noted that they never leave the keys there. (huh...I wonder why?!) How could we (Though we really never would.) overcome this predicament? By knowing how to hot-wire a car! Which lead us to a conversation about that, and my next list item...

70. Learn how to pick a lock- Don't judge! Let's all be honest hear....who DOESN'T want to know how to pick a lock?! Now, again, I would never use this and #69 to do something illegal....I just want to know how! What's that you say? 'What's the point?' Well I will tell you! As we continued on in our conversation we realized something very important. That is this: THESE ARE INTEGRAL SKILLS FOR THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! Laugh now, but when the earth is plagued by brain-eating-zombies and the only means of escape is a locked car with no keys....guess who makes it  out alive!

Well that about wraps it up! I would love to know what you thought of this! Do you like the stories? Or do you honestly not give a crap?

Remember I will re-post my entire bucket list once I have hit 101 items! Hopefully that doesn't take to long! But, for now, let me know if you were curious about how any of the other items made there way onto my list! If you ask I may just have to answer!

Au revoir!
The Ace of Spades

~Some time later! Where am I?~

Hello all! I do realize that I have not been the good little blogger I had every intention of being. And by this I mean that I have not posted in a month. (...and a day...But hey, who's counting?) I would like to apologize for me leave of absence, though I don't really have any specific reasons for it. So to recap: Yes, it has been a long time, I'm sorry, and I'm sure you all missed me terribly! (Right?!) Shall me move on?

Recently I have done a lot of thinking about my life. (There's a shocker. I mean this entire blog is only about life!) Mostly I've been trying to figure out where I am at. Where I'm going. Who's going with me. And, who I will be saying good bye to. All of this could be the result of graduation which is now rearing its ugly little head. But (spoiler alert!) it wasn't. It was all because someone had told me this past week that we were at "the beginning of the end." Now, this isn't and unusual comment by any means. But it's not something that can be carelessly brushed aside either! I am accepted into an awesome college that I can't wait to attend (and have been finalizing things regarding it) and yet at the same time I am still winding down the year rather solemnly.

So here I pose my question: Am I at the beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning? It's all very odd if you think about it, and not that easy to answer either. After all people make such big fusses about things like beginnings and endings. We see this in stories (Once upon a time...the end!) and even when mapping out our lives. Yet could it be (in the paradoxical norm of the universe) that a beginning and an end are interchangeable names that we give things which we have no other means of describing? So many questions and no possible means of answering them! And yet all of that only leads me to another question: Where am I?

So now I’m going to ask you the same thing. (Mwahaha! I’m making you think!) Where are you? Right now, as you sit and read this. Where are you in the grand scheme of your life? If you really think about it, you may be surprised at what you find out.

(To end in a note –or maybe a preview?-! My next update will feature some additions to my bucket list, including a story behind how they each made it there –I want to start doing this for every new addition- because everything has a story behind it!)

~Panic! My Minor Almost-Accident~

As the title of this particular entry suggests, I did on the date of today I got into a (minor) almost-accident. I call it an almost accident, because well, I really didn't hit anything, and no one was hurt. (Yay!)

The story:
Today we had late starts due to AIMS (which I have already exceeded) so I didn't need to be at school until around 11:00 a.m. Being the slight coffee addict that I am I decided that I would leave a grand total of thirty minutes before my designated arrival time (aka 10:30) to stop  at a Starbucks along the way. I decided on going to the drive-through Starbucks located conveniently near my house (seeing as the one by my school would take forever).

The Problem:
It's a hard turn to get out onto the main road to get to said Starbucks. And as I pulled up and positioned myself to make said right hand turn it came to my attention that the two gentlemen making a left were in a GIANT truck. A truck I could not see around, or over...like, AT ALL. Seeing my distress the two gentlemen (actually being gentlemen; Surprise, surprise) tried to assist me in making my right hand turn, by signaling me when it would be safe to go.

The Almost-Accident:
The signaled me that I was clear to proceed into the middle lane. I started rolling forward, seeing no reason why I shouldn't trust them, while still trying to look over the large truck to make sure that everything would be all right. My car has a wider wheel base than most cars (or something like that) which makes it very hard to make tight turns (hence my inability to execute a proper U-turn a majority of the time). This is important, because I couldn't turn only into the 1st lane. Actually, I started going a little into the 2nd lane, in which another car was approaching me rapidly. Panicking, I swerved to the right in order to avoid the car. This led me onto a very steep curb. (I later found out that I went onto the curb much more than I thought.) There was a post there, and as I noticed myself approaching it I rapidly got back onto the road careful to stay in my own lane.

Overall everything was fine in the end. My car is a little roughed up from the ordeal. I'm more likely than not down $100 (the cost of a new front tire). And, the poor gentlemen in the truck are probably never going to help another distressed teenage female make a right turn again. To be honest, that all really sucks don't get me wrong. But I can't help but to sit back and think about how much worse it could have been.

If I hadn't reacted quick enough I might have potentially hit the oncoming car in the 2nd lane, though I definitely overcompensated to avoid that car. And, seeing as I drive a '92 Taurus and only have a front airbag, I would probably have gotten seriously injured. Then, if I had been too freaked out by that -as in no longer capable of paying attention to what else was going on around me- I could have definitely crashed into that pole. Which, again, would have deployed the one airbag and could have caused some serious damage. Or, possibly the worst outcome, if someone had been standing/walking there, there is always the possibility that I could have hit them. And something like that is just so much more haunting than the thought that I may have been hurt. So all in all, I feel really...lucky.

Thinking about it, one of the first things that comes to mind is my late grandfather. When I first got my car my family did a little research, and it turned up that my late grandfather had actually BUILT part of my car. Now, I'm not suggesting that the two are cosmically connected, and that that's why I didn't die or get seriously injured today...But, it is just one of those things I will always think about. If I have learned anything in my -albeit brief- lifetime, it's that the universe works in very interesting ways.

Now I would like to take this time to say a few words:
Papa, if you really did have something to do with my sheer luck today, thank you.

And how does this relate to my Bucket List? Or the fact that I'm blogging about Life? Well i would just like to say this: Amber-1 Life-0. Take that!

~My Adventure. Oceanside, CA~

I am back! And in more ways than just one. It sounds terribly cliché, but I would go as far to say that my time in Oceanside CA. has changed me, even if only a little bit. But you see, I am one of those people who believe that every event or place -in fact everything we do in our lives- changes us even a little. In the end it is these things that help shape us into who we are.

On that note, I too have made some changes, and realizations during my experience. But the only pertinent one for this blog is this: I just have to keep living. That's it, as simple as that. Yet, it feels like all this time it has been such a foreign concept to me. Through this moderate epiphany I realized something else. This blog, is NOT about a bucket list. It is NOT about everything I want to fit into my time on this earth before I die. In short it is NOT about death. No, this is a blog about life. This blog is about exactly what I discovered to be so important in California; this blog is about living. Because what is a bucket list really? It is a list -that part is pretty self-explanatory- but it is also a guide to nothing less than living!

So now that that is all cleared up I feel like I can express just how amazing my vacation was. I did so many things that I never thought I would do. Among them which I have decided to add to the Almost list are:
2. Watch the sunset on the beach/over the ocean.
3. Try to 'find Nemo' in an aquarium.
4. Go boogie-boarding.

And lastly, this entire experience has leant me to add a new entry to The List:
65. Return to Oceanside California.

As for this one I don't mean next summer, or even next year. More specifically one day years down the road, when I am older and lived more than I have as of now. One day, I want to go back. Because I really can't express how much this place has helped me in a sense. I picture maybe a time in the future when I can go back and just reminisce about all the changes I felt there; then again maybe it'll be a time in the future when I again feel lost and need to just take time to figure everything out. I am curious as to what the future holds, so until then I suppose I will just keep living.

~Onward! To California~

So even though it's not specifically on my bucket list, I am going to California over Spring Break; my senior spring break to be exact. And it's sort of really and truly enthralling, because I've never done anything really exciting over spring break. Which, if I'm being honest kind of makes me wish I would have added 'go somewhere awesome for Spring Break' to my list. I won't add it now, because that feels like cheating -especially seeing as I will be leaving in only a few short hours. But, that does bring me to a good point. There are going to be things that I will do and think 'darn! I wish that was on my list' but of course I won't write them then, because that would be like cheating. After all, right now my goal is just 101 things I want to accomplish before I die. And I don't want to add more until I'm done doing all of those! So I've decided to keep track of all these little things, like: going to California for spring break as well! The catch? It'll be under a different name of course. It will be my 'Almost list' things I've done/am doing that I should have written on my bucket list, and would have had I had the foresight. Things I /almost/ wrote. So keep a look out for that. Plus, it'll give me a little more to talk about that doesn't sound like: "And then I was like OMG. And then she was like WTH?! And THEN we were both like LOL...and stuff" I mean because, seriously, does that even mean anything?!

On a separate note. Here are some new additions to my bucket list!
60. Read every comic in at least one of the original X-Men series
61. Make a giant cupcake
62. Finish my ‘Trinity’ of screenplays
63. Order chocolate milk, like its wine
64. Giant finger-paint

The List

So, as promised I do indeed have my bucket list. But, before I type it all up and post it for the world to (potentially see) I would like to explain a few things. 1. Though I know bucket lists are supposed to be something that are ongoing -as in you write them until you die, as well as try and cross everything off- this list  will only go to 101 items I want to do before I die as of right now. 2. If you noticed, I used the word 'will' this does infact mean that my list is not yet completed! I am still striving to reach that 101! That being said, i would like you all to know that after I type this here, I will only type up any additions I have (meaning I'm not reposting the entire list in order to make one or two additions). I will, however repost my completed list once it is done being written. 3. Finally, though these are not in an order of importance, the number they are given will be what I use to identify them. Alright here we go!

The List:
1. Drive all the way down route 66
2. Visit Italy
3. Visit Ireland
4. Visit England
5. Visit India
6. Learn to surf
8. Dance in the rain
9. Get something copywrited
10. Learn to drive stick
11. Learn a foreign Language (fluently)
12. See a show on Broadway
13. Visit Andora
14. Go on an adventure
15. Karaoke!
16. Take a cake decorating class
17. Read all of Grimm's Fairytales
18.Learn how to 'read' constelations
19.Get my black belt
20. Build a box castle
21. Build a snowman with a corn cob pipe
22. Plant something and don't kill it
23. Finish writing my bucket list
24. Build a real snow fort
25. Find Lorrena (Lorrena is the name of my star)
26. Find a real coffee shop
27. Compile a guide on how to survive the zombie apocalypse
28. Go to the Renaissance Festival
29. Go to the fair
30. Go to Harry Potter Land
31. Get a wand from Olivander's!
32. Learn how to dance
33. Lay on the grass and just watch the clouds
34. Count sheep
35. Visit Egypt
36. Ride the 'L'
37. Write a book
38. Go to a movie premiere
39. Own my own personal library/study
40. Travel for an extended period of time
41. Find my mom's old ranch
42. Rent a place in the woods. Stay there for at least a couple weeks-a month
43. Visit Spain
44. Learn to fight with a sword. (Though I suppose I'd consider fencing instead)
45. Take an/(some) archery lesson(s)
46. Go on a real road trip. (This does not have to correspond with #1)
47. Play a game of monopoly all the way through
48. Find an old bookstore
49. Become a regular at a small cafe (though a small family owned place will do)
50. Go to a lighthouse
51. Own a nice tea set
52. Visit New Orleans
53. Snow ball fight
54. Run through sprinklers (for no real reason)
55. Follow a rainbow to the end
56. Make a personal time capsul4
57. Watch every episode of the original twilight zone
58. Follow a white butterfly
59. Make (and sail!) a boat madde out of newspaper

My First Blog...EVER!

So as I sit down with my laptop and type out what will probably the most uninteresting thing ever possibly written (oh wait I'm sorry that title has already been taken by Heart of Darkness <-novel) I wonder what I shall ever write about.

Well to start I suppose I would like to say: Hello one and all (though I'd air more on the side of one than all) to my blog. And as you might only have guessed by the title this is indeed my first ever blog! Huzzah!
As you may also have guessed by the title of my blog...series(?) I am writing my very own bucket list. The contents of which I will most likely introduce in the next segment.

But before we get to all of that perhaps I should let you all know me? Well, I am a high school senior, and quite possibly one of the weirdest people I've ever known. I'm female also (you know...I'm a girl and all that good stuff). Don't worry yourselves though! I'm not 'boy-crazed' and so my blogs won't all sound like: "And then he looked at me! I mean RIGHT at me! Granted, he was actually trying to look at the clock and so he kind of was like looking passed me but...he was totally looking RIGHT AT ME!!!! [Insert squeal here]". Annoying right? Well I can't promise that my blog will be solely dedicated to my bucket list and both my addition and completion of things on it. I also won't promise that it won't stray completely off topic! But hey, cut me some slack! Bucket lists are hard to write/complete (hence why you’re given your whole life to work on them). So, I think it's perfectly reasonable to take...breaks now and again.

Well I'm signing off for now!
TheAceOfSpades